Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Don't Work in Retail


Retailers are one of the biggest providers of jobs in North America.  Did you know over 4.5 million Americans worked in retail in 2017? The average age of the retail worker is about thirty-seven, they make about $22,000 a year and it’s pretty evenly split between men and women, although over seventy-five per cent of clothing retail jobs is occupied by women?  But here’s something you may not really know...working retail really, really, really sucks! 

Here are some reasons to avoid retail like the plague!

They own you! 
They may not say it in the beginning, but they own your ass.  Don’t wanna work Sundays?  Too bad...you work ‘em because John the boss doesn’t want to.  Need the weekend off to go see a festival? Nope.  I hope you enjoy all the Insta posts your friends are uploading because that’s the closest you’re going to get to that concert.  Wanna book some time off in the summer for your friend’s wedding?  Go ahead, but when you get back everyone is going to hate the fact that you left them to go out and have fun.  Seriously, I don’t understand how Wal-Mart or Target can tell you how to live your life but they do.  Why?  You’re afraid to lose that job?  Guess what?  It’s retail, and there are tons available.  Splurge.  Go on.  Do it.  Quit that job so you can LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Management.
Do you want to know why Dave has been the dairy manager for the last two years? He’s the only one that stuck around.  Retail managers are not qualified to be management.  They just stuck around long enough to work their way up the corporate ladder into middle management.  Oh the mediocrity.  Do you really want to work under Dave?  He might have the experience but that doesn’t translate into a good leader.  You know you’re much better at the job, but who cares? Dave’s your boss and you do what he tells you to do and sometimes that means working hard enough to cover up Dave’s deficiencies.  Don’t worry, he “has your back”.

The pay. 
Oh they tell you that story at you in the very begging.  “Julia’s only been here for two years and she’s already top rate”.  You usually start off part time at minimum wage, and most stores offer wage increases every one thousand hours. Do the math...part time is 25 hours a week average,  divided by one thousand hours...it’s going to take you 40 weeks of working to get your raise. Will it be a dollar an hour more?  Yeah, no.  Most likely you’re going to snag a good thirty cents.  You need to work into full time to get the benefits and the top rates.  How long to you need to dedicate yourself to this career to make $18 an hour?  Three years?  Five years? That’s too long to wait until you are properly compensated for your skills and labour.

Colleagues. 
Retail work environments are worse than high school.  Were you bullied in high school?  Be prepared to get a second or third dose at your shiny new retail job.  Oh and the ones that will bully you, will probably be the biggest dog fuckers in the department, and you’ll have to work twice as hard to pick up the slack.  Then when the shit starts to roll down hill, you can expect to get shit on for all your hard work while Danny over there gets to bully her way to the top, all the weekends off and doesn’t even do the job.  Don’t worry, all those extra hours you put in making up for her do not mean squat.  Also, see about days off above.

Customers. 
People are the worst.  It’s a fact.  People are lazy and will get you to do all the shopping for them.  “Where is this” “Where is that?”  No one wants to look for anything anymore because, guess what?  That’s YOUR job so get off your ass; put a smile on your face, prance yourself down aisle five because Mildred the regular needs her panty liners.  They will complain to you even if it’s not your job, your department or your fault.  Customers will walk into a store, lock eyes with the first employee they see, barrel over and start with their demands.  Basic etiquette is missing in today’s society, so why would you want put yourself on the front lines?

The environment.
All retail environments are the same.  They always preach team, but you’ll never see management taking part in that team.  They like to say things like “It is what it is” or “My hands are tied”.   Any and all creativity will be sucked out of you.  Have a good idea?  No you don’t because once you tell Dave the boss, it’s now his idea and he’ll get all the accolades. Don’t like that or how you were treated?   Don’t put up a fuss.  They want you to drink the kool-aid, because they did and look at them, they are so happy.  Everyone that works here is so happy.  We do favours for everyone; everyone does favours for us because we are one big happy family.  Not feeling well today and you’re thinking about calling in?  They might be nice over the phone but that environment breeds resentment and you can guarantee that you’ve fallen down a rung or two on the ladder of opportunity.  Did they call you in and you had plans so you said no?  Another rung descended.  Unless you say yes to pretty much anything, you will be disregarded and labelled a “problem employee.”  Don’t even get me started if, god forbid, you have an issue with another colleague or your boss because it will all get swept under the carpet.  A good employee is an employee that doesn’t make waves.  Shut your mouth, show up and do your job, because if you don’t, someone else will.

Retail...it owns you, pays shit, managed by morons, occupied by resentful colleagues, and is often frequented by angry customers in an environment laden with anxiety.  Kids...stay in school.

By Dennon S. Stein




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